What entitlement to those moments
Do I have? No meaning resonates
Infatuated opinions of another life,
Blocked and blasted by inanity and you,
Amid preoccupied ruptures of contentment
The malnourished self-importance to my ache
Serenely claims alternative contesting conquest
Trapped within your will, preceding is all I can be,
There is no anticipation interchanging free
Understanding, in all those desperate biospheres
I believed we would fulfil our place with adoration,
But, I could not love you when I could not feel,
Who was I to love? Who was I at all?
Emotive inconsistency and paradox,
The juxtaposed heart that was mine to give,
I loved you with each kiss towards folly,
Rationalising my place beneath you as my home,
Everyone made it clear and your denial
Never breathed its dying breath,
Until reason converted accurately,
I saw how to become what I felt you saw,
And how I broke your heart, shattered,
Traumatised, crushed, devastated,
How affectionately I bequeathed you intention
To hate each memory we shared as one,
Where are you now with rainbow tears?
Elapsed desolation of all those years ago,
How could I overthrow your position in my humanity?
When by your pain I come to define
Each day I live for your atonement
That will never feel your warmth upon it.
Poem © Phen Weston 2014
Image © Criss Production 2014