Existence, Irrelevant Meanderings (A Short Story)

I stepped out of the front door.

“Who are you?”

I looked at him. Trousers tucked into his socks, baseball cap sitting high on his shaved head. The faint outline of a blackened eye still visible over his olive complexion. The look of a child trying to be menacing, but only achieving the look of a child, covered his unenlightened face. Was this a test of myself?

“Man makes himself,” I replied. “Therefor I am myself.”

He looked blankly.

“Through the act of will the existence of the self is an agent responsible for its own development. But how do you seek meaning within the isolation and alienation of the chaotic universe when, through chaos, philosophy can be masked by the fast changing mimicry of modern society? Is their no essence or purpose which pre-exists?”

He blankly looked.

I continued. “The manner of my up bringing and influences may have greatly effected the self imagery that is the make up of the being you see before you. I am myself because of my own reactions to the events that led me to my current path. Yet, can it not also be argued that I stand here today, not as a product of the self, but as a direct result of the people whose lives led, inflicted and conflicted with my own existence up unto this point in time? After all, can it not be that I am nothing without the mould of reality that shaped me?”

Blankly looked he.

“Then what of the internal conflicts that are not governed by external forces, but driven by their own desires and needs to exact their will upon the world as they see fit through me? Am I then nothing more than a vessel for such unseen forces to take and control when the impulse so takes them?” I sighed. “Should the question not be, what am I? Merely internal conflicts and wills of Id, ego and super ego?

“Now what about other trails of thought?…” I trailed off. To say that this poor young fellow looked as though an aneurism was about to explode his sense of reality, was or wasn’t an understatement.

“What about fate, god or pre-existence? If you may so happen to believe in any of these. Do these ideas of pre-determined life mean that there is nothing more to my life than that which has already been set forth by unknown entities that play us like pawns in a fatalistic cosmic game of chess. If these are the case then how can I be anything at all? I am only an extension of those forces and not an individual. Free will does not exist and I cannot be held or will not take responsibility for any action I may take, cause, or want. I do not exist as the individual, therefor I am not and your whole question is null.

“Of course, if either pre-determination or free-will are the case and the individual is or is not important, do we have to also take into account the nature of nature and humanity as a well. Survival of the fittest, survival of the species, genes, atoms, and other such elements that define the world as a whole and for which we were designed, by nature or a creator, to easily slide into this world.”

Finally he spoke up

“No… Who are you and why are you leaving my house?”

At this point I scarpered…


3 thoughts on “Existence, Irrelevant Meanderings (A Short Story)

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  1. You bring up a lot of interesting ideas here and questions. I figure we most be a composition of everything that we are as much as what we are not, if that makes sense. Self-existence is made up of the self and the not-self (essentially, others.)

    1. It does make perfect sense, and I completely agree. There are so many aspects to the self that it is hard to pinpoint them. The self and others make the we. Thanks for the thoughts 🙂

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