The scab and discharge

Of the ignorant and oblivious,

Why should I try for you

When you are only ever trying?

A grimace of decrepit disgust,

Your aversion and distaste

Don’t go unnoticed on these

Worn-out and run-down eyes,

I’ve tried for so long, sought and sorted

Someone to fill the voids of my soul,

Beauty, knowledge and love,

I thought maybe this time,

Hoped upon hope that you

Were the one sonorous enough

To blast through these ramparts.



Resplendent with you freshness,

Yet below the surface,

Bubbling with unctuous slaughter,

Was the twisted features

Of your one true face, visceral damnation

That you have become

From your repulsive narcissistic

Nature, your own rancid master,

I let you control and dominate

All I could hope to be

Until I was nothing more than a sight

“You’re there to look good and not say a word”

Should I only be seen and not heard?

When inside words yell to be released,

Immortal symphony of a poets

Soul, dream and hopes.



And when my voice learnt to shout

Down the armies of your control,

Beyond the world you let me see,

You stepped up your games,

Coarse and chafe your cataclysm

Etched away at the parts of me

I’d struggled so long to control,

Until madness seemed like the only answer

To the questions you left me with,

And I thought I mad!

Through your ‘loving’ embrace

You convinced me of my slipping

Sanity, questioning myself,

When you were the one who truly

Hid the dark of insanity within.



Yet I still saw and loved the good

That you masqueraded to the world

Such sweetness and soft words

Filled the times we spent,

No longer lovers, yet always

Connected by life we had breathed,

Mother to my child, I trusted you still,

Never seeing the true disgust

Behind your eyes

And your games played on

Until all I had loved and needed

You coldly and cruelly took away,

Dismembering, mutilating, disjointing

All I had left was my life to take!



Grotesque, distorted, bizarre

Life ripped and torn

You left me fending against myself

With twitching memories that warped

From the lovers friendship

I saw in your wisdom and words,

Inside I died from you ‘love’

Outside I mimicked a quick cut.



Years have passed

The life you maliciously turned to dust

And I, too weak, tried to end,

Was granted a new beginning,

Succulent and suffuse with all

The love and life I craved before,

Exalted and transcendent

I stand before you

A god of the broken angel

You ravenously devoured,

Glorious and vibrant,

Blinding and burning the demon

You cautiously hide.



By my side, my goddess holds,

The tranquil, serene, soothing

Nature that she is

And our love can know no bounds,

Can you mimic this cold witch?

We see your true face now

Even though you think

Your mask is secure for the world

There is no hiding the withered

Carcase you have become,

And before you we excel,

The zenith and vestige

You claim to be, we are!


Poem © Phen Weston


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