Self Preservation

Your beauty is effloresce and axiomatic,
Divergent from all those forenamed,
Exquisite delicacy, rose of symmetry.

Inside emotions are riled into defence,
Self-evident support of certain truths,
I am not worthy of such a heart as yours.

My disservice, requirements imposed
By my own exhausted superego,
Tired, of the betrayal, the loneliness, the loss.

A mighty wall erected high
Against the armies of my imagination,
Over the pains we could suffer.

The night terrors we could become,
The betrayal, the loneliness, the loss,
Colloquially known as love.

Maybe I’m just pessimistic,
Dejected and downhearted,
Better the devil you know?

From the darkness emerges my id
Violently ripping apart hopes and happiness,
Ravenously devouring the ‘what ifs’.

By my own uncontrollable actions,
Through my own pathetic fears,
I am not worthy of such a heart as yours!

Without my fears we could have been
Strong, passionate, forever,
Fears would dissolve through our truth.

We could have been eternal,
But I’m eternally alone here now,
Conquered and consumed by ego and id.
Poem © Phen Weston


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